Life is a hazardous roller-coaster. No matter how happy we are in a certain moment, something is almost inevitably going to crash and burn. If only there was a universal recipe that could guide us as far away as possible from something as scarring and unpleasant as heartbreak, but there isn’t.
Heartbreak is an unfortunate aftermath of a variety of events – someone you loved passed away, you discovered a friend wasn’t as genuine as you thought, or maybe you just broke off a relationship.
Truth is, even if you broke-up for all the right reasons, say you realized your boyfriend was manipulative (in which case, you go girl!), it still hurts. They say time heals everything, but sometimes time isn’t on your side. The following will provide you with some tips that will help put your mind at ease and lead you on the path to recovery.
#1 Cry Your Heart Out
We have a tendency to stand tall in the face of tragedy. Especially if said tragedy was a break-up, part of us wants us to believe that we’re above crying over spilt milk, as they say. Ditch this mentality – there’s nothing wrong with crying.
Shedding tears is a good way to release bottled up feelings, which otherwise could prove extremely damaging. Whatever your feelings are – sadness, anger, or, I don’t know, even joy – getting them off your chest is the biggest step you could possibly make.
#2 Create Distractions
You can’t get over something if you keep thinking about it. What are your hobbies? If you like drawing, kick off a project that will keep you busy for a few days. Don’t know what your hobbies are? Then create some! This will even provide a surprise bonus because, by experiencing, you may even find an activity that you really enjoy doing. Pour all your feelings into those muffins!
#3 Spoil Yourself
Don’t get us wrong, no one is saying that you should completely hollow your bank balance, but if there’s one thing in this world that you desperately wanted for a long time, but for whatever reason you decided to hold back, now’s the perfect time to do it. Order that pizza you’ve been avoiding because of your diet. Buy an amazing piece of jewelry and then flaunt it on a club night with your besties just for the heck of it. Take a two-week African Safari or go paragliding from Mont Blanc.
Whatever it is you’ve been pinning on your dream board, just go ahead and do it because this will help you look forward to something great in your life and also help you detach from the negative situation you are currently facing. Once you start getting back on your feet, you’ll have enough strength to wheel yourself back on the right path and fix all the holes.
#4 Don’t Be Alone
Seclusion seems like the most tempting option. In the first couple of days, some “me time” is almost obligatory. When you’re living heartbreak so freshly and vividly, human interaction is almost impossible. However, make sure you slowly start breaking out of your shell after this time period.
Being left alone with your thoughts is only going to sink you further into depression. Talk to friends and family. If you can’t or don’t want to talk about it, then at least spend time with them, doing anything else.
#5 Let the Sun Shine Through
Don’t let the negativity consume you. Sit down and ponder a bit on all the positive things in your life. Be it friends, your job, family, your hobbies – whatever it is, they compose the list of things that bring you happiness. Focusing on them and realizing that there are so many more good things in your life than bad is going to bring you a shift in perspective. It will make it easier to move on from the catalyst of your current heartbreak.
#6 Leave the Past in the Past
The most important thing you need to be aware of is that life moves on and that anything that hurt you in the past is going to remain just there – in the past. Don’t let life outrun you. Keep moving on, get yourself engrossed in new things.
Meet new people, get new hobbies, dare to bring a change in your life of any kind. Life doesn’t have time for regrets. If we stop to look back, we only risk getting lost and soon we’ll be trapped in a vortex of reproof and regrets.
#7 Get Professional Help
The stigma around seeing therapists couldn’t be more wrong. There is nothing shameful about seeking professional counseling. It’s actually the opposite, as psychologists and other counselors have only one goal – to help you heal. This way, all of their focus is on this task and it doesn’t hurt that they definitely know what they’re doing either.
#8 Accept the situation
Like in the case of grieving, heartbreak can only be combated through acceptance. By leaving it in the past, choosing to move forward, and trying not to dwell too much on it, we will slowly begin to heal. This healing may never be whole, but it’s a starting point and it’s something that will shape us into better people.