So there’s this really cute guy you like. He makes you laugh, blush and every single thing he does is fantastic in your eyes. You have a huge crush on this guy. The only problem is, he is your best friend’s boyfriend.
Bam! Just like that the bubble burst and you’re back in the not-so-nice reality of liking a guy that for all means and purposes is off limits. Don’t worry; I’m going to try and help.
Relax! It’s totally normal
First thing you may be pondering is if you’re a really bad friend; because only disloyal friends get crushes on their BFF’s boy, right? Wrong. It’s likely that you’ve had this crush before they were dating or that it developed from being around them a lot. You are not a bad friend, so you can cross that one off your list. It is totally normal to end up daydreaming about this guy if you’ve spent lots of time around him.
“But that doesn’t help the fact that I’m still in love with my best friend’s boyfriend!”, I know, I know! Calm down, jeez!
Reasons why this could be happening..
Have you considered that perhaps you don’t really want to steal her boyfriend and ride into the sunset together but maybe your brain is kind of tricking you into wanting a boyfriend? Seeing displays of affection, romantic gestures and sweet smiles can make us want something like that for ourselves, so it doesn’t mean that you necessarily want HIM, but maybe you just want THAT. Think about it for a bit and consider other guys that you may have crushes on. Is it really him? Or is it the idea of a boyfriend?
If you’re still not sure, then let’s carry on. You need to be super sure that you actually like the guy, in which case you have to weigh your options very carefully. You are at risk of losing your best friend, so it’s not just like you’d be stealing some random girl’s guy –which isn’t nice either–. In order to get out of the crush bubble and get rid of the feeling you may have for this boy, you are going to need to put some distance between you and him.
Divert your attention
Try some other activities at school to keep you busy, join clubs and go out with other friends. Of course you shouldn’t shut your best friend out completely but try to make sure that if you hang out, he isn’t going to be there. Talk to her and mention that you’d like to have a “Girls Only” day out or maybe even a sleepover. That way she won’t think that you don’t want to be friends anymore or feel left out.
When all else fails
Always take some time to get over your feeling for her boyfriend, don’t beat yourself over it and be patient. If there comes a point where you’ve tried everything and you still can’t seem to get over the ordeal, try to talk to her about it. But before you do, think about it in depth; can you imagine your life without your best friend? Because that is a possibility you need to consider before you have a talk. It is best if you just keep out of situations where you may mess up the friendship and just lay low for a bit.
If they break up and you decide to go for it, always consider your friendship first and foremost. There are plenty of guys out there that would love to be your boyfriend and whom won’t make you lose your best friend. Good luck and a huge hug to all of you who are experiencing something like this. I know it’s hard, but you are stronger!
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Image Credit: Yu-min Wang